It’s common for people to change their behavior in a relationship, but it’s important to consider whether a partner is willing to change and make an effort to improve the relationship. Here are some tips for assessing if a partner is willing to change: 

Choose an issue
Pick an important issue to you and decide on a minimum standard for it. For example, you might want your partner to meet you at least once a week and communicate every day. 

Set an expectation
Present your expectation to your partner clearly and specifically. 

Be willing to walk away
Make sure you’re willing to end the relationship if your partner doesn’t meet your expectations. 

Consider couples counseling
If your partner won’t change and you’ve tried couples counseling, you might want to consider ending the relationship. 

Here are some signs that a man might have changed:
He acknowledges that his abusive behavior is wrong
He understands that he doesn’t have the right to control or dominate you
You don’t feel afraid when you’re with him 
When do you know that someone will never change?
Everyone changes. “How can you be sure a particular person will never change?” assumes “Some people never change. But let’s step back from this and ask if it is really true.

Please picture any person who is alive, or who ever lived. Picture this person at a particular age, a particular time of life. Then ask: What will they be like 200 years later?

I guarantee they will change. We are all mortal.

So what are we really asking when we say, “Will he/she ever change?” We are asking, “Will he or she change in the way that I want him or her to change on a schedule I find convenient or acceptable?”

Do you see the selfishness in this? The desire to manipulate?

Now, we do need to know. People are packages, and no matter how in love we might feel at certain moments or for a period of time, there will always be something about someone else that bugs us. It may be something we can’t even live with.

But when that happens its about us and our desires and needs, not about them.

Now I want to be clear. Our own desires and needs are important. They matter. But that means we have a decision to make. Here are some scenarios, with my suggestions.

If the person is physically violent or abusive, leave now. Staying is too dangerous. Leaving and coming back is even more dangerous.
If the person has broken a cardinal agreement, such as fidelity in marriage vows, you have a decision to make. Do you give the person another chance? If you do, make sure your requirements and the consequences are 100% clear.
If the person has a self-injurious habit, such as an addiction, get professional help. Know your own limits. Is this within the bounds of “till death do us part”?
In fact, if you are going steady, choosing to be in an exclusive relationship, or getting married, think all this out ahead of time. When I act as a minister, I require pre-marital counseling for those who want me to officiate. And one question I ask is, “Are you ready for her/him to die?” Let’s look ahead at what is really going to happen.
Know what you will and won’t accept, and be clear about it. Now, don’t be rigid if you don’t want to. We can all grow and change. But let’s not fool ourselves about it.

And one rule I live by, from one of my teachers, Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, “We do not ask others to change. We change ourselves.